10 ideas if your ipod fails at the gym

If you're a gym regular like me, then you know that when your ipod goes kaplut while you're working out, it's bad times. So today, when the inevitable happened to me, I attempted to concoct a list of things to do while you're running aimlessly. 

1. Watch TV

    Now, there are several problems with this proposition. I mean, firstly, it's not like there's ever anything good on when you're at home, why should this devilish device agree with your whims when you're at your most desperate for entertainment? 

I'm not saying I haven't frequently fallen victim to the 'stare at the screen 'cuz it's there' phenomena. It just never leads anywhere good. I have now watched about ten more E special features than I ever desired (which was, um, none), and have been repeatedly grossed out by the media's obsessive over-coverage of murders and child abductions. 

2. Stare at the wall

Really, this is only good for about 10 seconds.

3. Make Grocery Lists

This is a great use of your time, provided you can trust yourself not to immediately forget the list upon introduction of some better form of entertainment... I cannot. 

4. Watch your fellow gym-goers

    Please do not do this. It's creepy. Very, very creepy. And really, it's only interesting for the first 30 seconds. Then you remember that they, too, are running in place for no apparent reason. 

5. Plan your next halloween costume

    Really. You'll come up with something amazing if you think long enough. I decided on a group costume-- "Things that would survive a nuclear holocaust," costumes include Mr. Twinkie, a Cockroach, Diet Coke, and possibly Larry King.

6. Plot world Domination

...of course, this may not be as much fun for you as it is for me. Because, you know, I will be reclaiming the world as my own once you successfully unite the peasants on my behalf.

7. Try to name all the candy in the impulse section of your grocery store

     Naturally, the detriment of this idea is that, after you're done working out, you'll want to go to the store to see if you got them correct, and this can only lead to eating more Reeses'. 

8. Name the starting line-up of your home baseball team

If you can do this easily, I recommend naming the entire bullpen, and then moving onto    other teams. So far, I can do all of the Giants, and almost all of the A's, Red Sox, Yankees, and Mariners. It is totally not impossible.

9. Decide which olympic sport you would compete in if a fairy came down and offered you gold-medal talents in one area and one area only.

     If you could go back in time, here are some rather odd activities you used to be able to compete in at the olympics:

            -live pigeon shooting (valid only in 1900 in Paris)

            -pistol deuling (1906)

            -solo synchronized swimming (1992. And don't ask me to explain it. Crazy '90s)

    -club swinging (1904, 1932. The club had ribbons on it. Men did this. Yeah.)

            -Tug of War (1900-1920)

            -Motor Boating (1908. With an actual boat. You Pervert.)

            -Running Deer Single Shot (1904-1936)

10. Create a new recipe in your head.

       This is much healthier than the candy one, as it involves you wanting to go straight home and cook something, instead of eating chocolate. 

So there you have it. Hopefully some of these will keep you entertained while you're mourning your decision not to check your battery before leaving the house. Although, I would like to recommend that you keep your headphones in your ears while you are doing all of this. People without headphones look shady, and god forbid you should actually have to interact with another human being.